I have craved things that are nothing but temporary coverings.
I have misused Your Word.
I have known about You but now desperately want to know You.
I am afraid that I will not be able to meet your expectations, even though I keep hearing that you have none. I am afraid that all I will ever do is fail You.
I am angry at You. Angry that You would even create mankind knowing that we would fall away. Angry that You would create a covenant with us knowing that we have an incredibly difficult time keeping covenant. And I realize that really I am angry at myself.
I choose today to believe in You enough to ask You to cut through all of this and show Yourself to me. I need a new revelation of Your love. I cannot walk away from You, but I want so desperately to be able to trust You.
I ask that Your Word would be a light to my path, not just in the future, but as I study the past. Reveal truths. Give me the strength and courage to be able to embrace my depravity. I fall on my knees yet again. Forgive me, Lord. Lead me in the way everlasting. Give me strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow; if that's not asking too much.
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